How to spot a Wits student

How to spot a wits student

<pic sourced: www.witsdfo.wordpress.com>

I had a first instalment which spoke about spotting a UJ student and so I thought I’d practice that journalistic ethic called, balance. I had numerable responses from Wits students about the first article. So in the interest of fairness I have decided to bring you these subjective observations. I’ll begin with former Wits students. You see when students fail and are kicked out of a particular varsity. It’s usually because of a number of reasons, but generally it has to do with under-performing academically. 

When this scenario involves a student who once studied at Wits. Trust me you’ll know the first time you guys have a conversation, and without even asking at that. They’ll use every chance they get to tell you that all important statement…… ‘I use to study at Wits hey!’

Secondly, if you ever find yourself spending a day at the big, historic main campus of the University of the Witwatersrand and happen to find yourself in a conversation with Wits students and are engaged in an intellectual conversation which your are dominating so much that everyone around you is nodding their heads in agreement. Don’t ruin the moment for yourself and tell them that you are not a current or at least former Witsie. I tell you, all the agreement and respect you would have wasted hours gathering will disappear instantly. (Poor, dumb, you).

Moving on, varsities have thousands of students. You literally see new faces every single day. But if you happen to spot a student walking around awkwardly with a back pack large enough to fit Five soccer balls in it, and they are looking around the buildings in your campus with a look on their faces that seems to say ‘HHhhmmmmm this place is actually not too bad for a glorified high school’ that person my dear reader would be a Wits student (massive generalisation).

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Furthermore, during school holidays. The neighbourhood is filled with faces that seem to only appear in March, June, September and December. You guessed right dear reader. Those would be students. If you ever become so curious that you have a talk with one of them and find yourself saying ‘Oh so you are a varsity student, that’s nice’. The person that will squint their eyes and clench their teeth as if they just drank castor oil, and touch you on the shoulder and say ‘well, actually… I am a WITS STUDENTS, will be yours truly.

Lastly, Spring has come, so parties are everywhere. If you happen to be hosting a party on a Friday night and are busy trying to convince one guest not to leave just yet, and they say to you ‘no man, my books are like seriously waiting for me, you know’. If you are a persistent bugger and go on and ask them ‘what, are you writing on Monday? Ok, is it in the next two weeks? The person who will look you right in eyes and say ‘no! I’m actually writing a month and a half from now. If you find yourself face to face with this rare species, dear reader, you will have succeeded. Yes, you will have spotted a Wits students!